Review: The Final Destination SPOLIERS

After 3 intense films, The 4th entry in the Final Destination franchise is one of the better entries, and 10 times better for your money than Halloween II. It's the same old story, but the new deaths are exciting, and the pre credits Nascar crash is thrilling and intense. After that the film slows down a bit only to hit full speed again and dosen't stop till everyone's dead. It's insane fun and should be even better in 3D (I only watched it in 2D).

4/5

Review: Adventureland

This film came out of nowhere and is one of the best of the year bar none. It follows a Post grad school student as he spends his summer working a crappy job at an even crappier amusement park called "Adventureland". As the film went on, I found myself identifying with the main character more and more and I'm sure you will too cause we've all been there. This film is my new favorite film of 2009, and it deserves that spot. It's 10 times better than most of the so-called comedies out there right now.

5/5

Review: Halloween II

The sequel to the successful 2007 Halloween remake just gets it wrong at every turn, I'm wondering what happened creatively to make this much of a turkey out of one of the most influential horror film series of all time. It spins wildy from a bizarre dream like state to a standard issue horror film and the tone is so uneven that I was constantly wondering if this could sink any lower and it's clearly Rob Zombie's very successful attempt to distance himself from this franchise, after 2 good movies he makes this? It's complete crap, and if a sequel is made this won't be hard to top.

1/5

Review: The Last House on The Left(2009)

The differences between 70's films and films of the 00's have never been more apparent than in The Last House on The Left, which combines a standard issue revenge flick with a run of the mill horror film yet still manages to be better than the bleak and terrible 1972 original.

The film stays close to the story of the original but manages to put a fresh face on it and allows more time to root for/completely hate the characters. This is done with basic character building exercises but it allows you to actually care about what's happening. Unlike other films of this nature, you actually wanna see the bad guys get theirs and that's largely due to the above average acting.

There are some problems with the film, but they are small enough that they don't bring down the overall experience of the film and they mostly have to do with the plausibility of what's going on.

Bottom line, if you're looking for an entertaining horror film or a remake that actually takes the material in interesting directions, then The Last House on The Left is at least worth a rent.
3.5/5

Review: G.I. Joe The Rise of Cobra

In the 60's a toy franchise was launched that would become wildly popular in the 80's(yet always placing second behind Transformers) and then fell into obscurity....until now. G.I. Joe The Rise of Cobra has arrived but is it any good?


The answer is yes and no. G.I. Joe has a few things going for it: Awesome action that gets the adrenaline pumping and the heart racing, some downright funny moments and some solid acting. But for everything it achieves, there's something weighing it down. There's too many flashbacks, and some of the acting is wooden or just plain bad (I'm talkin to YOU, Dennis Quaid).

When all is said and done, G.I. Joe The Rise of Cobra is an entertaining way to spend a Friday night/Saturday afternoon, but nothing more and nothing less. If they hope to have the same success that Transformers has had, then they need to step it up a notch but it is a solid first effort.

3/5

Review: Transformers Revenge of The Fallen

The most anticipated film of the summer has finally arrived, but does it live up to the hype? The answer is yes, yes and then some. Transformers Revenge of the Fallen is the most exciting entertainment experience to come along since the summer of 2007, when both Transformers and Live Free or Die Hard were competing for your summer cash. It's also gonna be on my Top Ten at the end of the year.

I would explain the story, but is that really why we're watching a movie that has so many epic explosions and FIGHTING ROBOTS? No not really, so the story doesn't really apply here. And for what it is the story doesn't make a lot of sense here anyway.

Honestly I find this film to be 10 times better than the first Transformers, Michael Bay really gets into his groove here and delivers the Transformers film we all knew he could.
5/5

Review: Terminator Salvation

25 years and four films into the franchise, we finally arrive at the war between man and machine, and it's not the balls-out war everyone was expecting. But to be fair, the war is only just starting, John Connor isn't even the leader of the resistance...yet.

T.S. has some good performances, even though Christian Bale is just being Christian Bale. Sam Worthington is good as a Terminator who is ALMOST human, but not quite.

When it comes to the action scenes, McG knows what he's doing, the action scenes are epic.

But Terminator Salvation is not on the same level as the first 2, but it is as good, if not better than the 3rd.

3/5

Review: Star Trek

I have never before seen any Star Trek T.V. series or movie, this is my first experience with Star Trek, and I have to say I actually really enjoyed it. This being my first foray into the Star Trek world, it seems like there is a history here I need to explore.

The plot of this film is sort of a reboot of sorts for the series, reintroducing us to the original crew of the U.S.S. Enterprise. This time around, A troubled Romulan named Nero who is hell-bent on revenge after his home planet is destroyed. On Earth, James T. Kirk and Leonard "Bones" McCoy, join Spock and the rest of the future Enterprise crew at Starfleet Academy. When Earth is threatened by Nero, the Crew of the Enterprise led by Kirk rises to save it.

This film is hugely entertaining, and could be called the first truly accessible Star Trek film.

4/5

X-Men Origins: Wolverine Review

To accommodate my VERY divided thoughts on this movie, I am going to attempt a new review format.


X-Men Origins: Wolverine

2 out of 5


The Good-There are some decent action set pieces, some great one-liners, and c'mon, it's Wolverine...Which brings me to.....

The Bad-I wonder if Bryan Singer is considering a return to the X-Men Franchise, cause this series desperately needs him back. Ever since X-Men 2, this series has been on a downward spiral that seems to have no end in sight. There are A LOT of glaring problems with this film, starting with Deadpool and Gambit. These 2 characters share about 20 minutes of screen time, and they have so much unrealized potential that it almost seems pointless to even include them in this film. These characters need their own movies and be given room to grow, not be reduced to obligatory cameos, or in Deadpool's case, a poorly realized villain.

With all they did wrong with this film, I can only give it 2 out of 5.

Review: Crank High Voltage

I can think of a thousand ways to describe the sequel to the sleeper hit "Crank", but none of them would do the film justice. This is the type of film you have to see to believe. It's nutty, surrealistic, psychotic, nihilistic, trippy, and a LOT of fun to watch.

The plot is basically Same Shit, Different Day for Hitman Chev Chelios, but this time instead of "Chinese Shit", it's an artificial heart run on a battery that is powering him. So instead of having to constantly be on an adrenaline high, he must keep his body electrically charged in order to stay alive and get his "Strawberry Tart" back.

This film is a blast from start to finish, it never slows down, has an in your face style that suits the film well, and is basically like seeing an arcade video game come to life.

4/5

BTW, Jason Statham is STILL a badass!

Review: The Wrestler

The best movie about my favorite sport/form of entertainment, Wrestling, has arrived. The Wrestler may shine a light on the darker corners of the sport, such as lack of protection of retired wrestlers and rampant steroid use, it does not glorify them. But at the end of the day, The Wrestler is about a man, a performer past his prime who has a strained relationship with his daughter, and can't hold a steady job outside of pro wrestling. Wrestling is all he knows, and it's what made him who he is.

The Wrestler is at turns powerful, fun, fast-paced, and is the best movie made so far about professional wrestling as a sport and form of entertainment. The scenes that depict what goes on behind the scenes of a wrestling event accurately depict what really goes into planning a spot, how they will work the match, and the outcome of the match. I really liked this film, and hopefully it will be a cause for change when it comes to the lack of protection for retired wrestlers, and the steroid-use that still runs rampant even though the charge against it has gotten stronger, it still is a problem. But regardless, this is the best movie made about wrestling so far.

4/5

Review: Fast & Furious

The 3rd sequel to The Fast and The Furious is being billed as New Model, Original Parts. I wish the film was as good as it could have been though, there is many problems with this film, but it's still fun entertainment.

When one of their own is killed, Dom Toretto and Brian O' Connor are back in the driver's seat again to take down a drug cartel funneling heroin through Los Angeles. As it turns out, a member of the cartel is responsible for the murder. The trail leads them to Mexico, where they engage in, you guessed it, a car chase to finish the job once and for all.

The film suffers from the performances, or lack thereof, but this is the type of film where acting isn't needed, all that is required is for the leads to act cool and angry when needed. The plot is standard action movie drivel, but again the plot is not the focal point of the film, it's the cars, the women, and the locales. It reminds me of a Bond film in a way, where those were the only things that mattered, cars, women, exotic locales, and whether or not Bond gave the bad guy what was coming to him, and if that's all you want in a film, then you won't be disappointed. Everyone else, either skip or wait for the DVD/Bluray.

2.5 out of 5

Watchmen Review

On the heels of one of the greatest comic book movies of all time "The Dark Knight", We get "Watchmen" quite possibly the greatest. If you read the book, you know the story, but the basic plot outline is when one of thier own is killed, a team of superheros comes out of retirement to find out who is behind it. Of course, there is much more to it than that, but for the sake of spoilers, I will not go into details if you've never read the book.

This is sure to go down as one of the best, if not the best, comic book-based movies of all time. It's the type of film that will spark debate and get people talking, and that is sure to make it a milestone not only in comic-book movie terms, but in film terms in general. It's a monumental achievement as both a technical exercise and as a masterpiece of storytelling.

When all is said and done and the dust settles, film history will show the importance of "Watchmen", it's one of the greatest films of our generation and I will even go boldly to say that this may be "The godfather of all comic-book films" Bold statements,to be sure, but this film is just that powerful. My scale may only go to five, but this film is way above what mere scales can say about a film. It is at turns powerful, funny, disturbing, and important. So for those reasons, I will not be placing a rating on this film I will just say SEE IT. You won't be disappointed. This is flat out one of the best films of all time.

Review: Prom Night (2008)

Directed by: Nelson McCormack

Starring: Brittany Snow, Johnathon Schaech

After seeing 2 Great remakes, I am sad to say I fell upon one that fails in every way imaginable. The inept directing, atrocious acting, and paper thin plot weigh this film down a whole helluva lot. What could have been a great, R-rated horror romp fest is reduced to PG-13 garbage that passes for "horror". 

I hated every aspect of this film. It's as if the makers of "The Hills" met up with the creators of "The Grudge" and decided to combine the worst things about them to make one big, dumb crap-fest.  Watching this film makes me glad that filmmakers like Rob Zombie, Eli Roth, Alex Aja, and Marcus Nispel are around to make horror films with balls.  

1/5

Horror Movies Through The Years (includes reviews of select films)

Horror movies have been scaring children and thrilling adults since film began.  I will be breaking down every era of Horror films since the 70s and reviewing select horror films. 

1970s-This era of ghostly horror films was also when slasher films started to take shape, but it wouldn't be till the 80s till slashers would be defined by 2 movies. Though the film that would lay the template for all slashers to come was released: Halloween.  No other film was more responsible for creating the genre then this single film, which would rise from obscurity to become a classic. Every slasher film to come would be influenced by Halloween in some way or another, even though the myriad sequels have tarnished the originals reputation.

1980s-This is the decade where the slasher film would rise to what it has become, the 2 films that would define the genre were released: Friday the 13th and A Nightmare on Elm Street. These 2 films have my picks for the 1st and 2nd greatest horror films ever made, and these are the films I have chosen to review. 

Review: Friday the 13th

Directed by Sean S. Cunningham

Written by Victor Miller

The film that would define the slasher genre, is one of the best of the genre. For the first 45 minutes of the film you are led to believe who the killer is until they throw you a curve ball in the last 15 minutes of the film. That being said, this film has a lot of problems, like the mediocre acting and the really terrible dialogue. This stops the film from achieving greatness, but it still is a thrill-a-minute ride.

3/5

Review: A Nightmare on Elm Street

The single best film of the slasher genre, it features a great villain, believable characters, good acting, and some great kills. The film that would define Horror master Wes Craven's career, and quite possibly the greatest horror film ever made.

5/5

1990s-This is the era when slashers films would be turned on their ears, and many horror films would become self-referential. Not many notable films during this era save for Scream.

2000s-The era when slashers would revert back to the golden era for inspiration, like the great remake of Friday the 13th, and the upcoming remake of A Nightmare on Elm Street, also the era when Zombie films would become popular fueled by films like Dawn of the Dead and 28 Days Later.

This is my retrospective on the Horror Genre, hope you enjoy!

Review: Friday The 13th (2009)

Friday The 13th

Starring : Amanda Righetti, Danielle Panabaker, Jared Paladecki, Travis Van Winkle, Derek Mears

Written By Damian Shannon and Mark Swift

Directed By Marcus Nispel

Horror movies have been around since the dawn of film. Technology has allowed them to get better and more violent with time. But the original Friday The 13th worked on a different level, and it seems like nearly 20 years of history was washed away for a chance at a fresh start, and it serves this long running series well. The acting is good, the kills inventive (even though there's only so much you can do with blunt and pointed objects) and the directing is tense. As I look back on the 20 years this series has been around, I'm glad they went back to basics and allowed a new generation to be introduced to the madman in the hockey mask Jason Voorhees. 

That being said, the ending is weak and the high energy, violent pre-credits sequences can't match with the slower pace of the rest of the film. 

The final 45 minutes, however, do leave a bit of doubt as to who will survive to see the end, and who of the 2 "Final Girls" eat it is a bit shocking.

I can gladly give this film

5/5

One of the best horror remakes I've seen in years.

Double Review-Saw 5 and REPO! The Genetic Opera

Review-REPO! The Genetic Opera

Director-Darren Lynn Bousman

Writers-Darren Smith and Terrance Zdunich

Starring-Alexa Vega, Anthony Stewart Head, Sarah Brightman, Paris Hilton, Ogre, Terrance Zdunich with Bill Moseley and Paul Sorvino.

What started life as a short film, then became a stage play, now becomes one of the best and most original films of 2008. I am completely throwing my full support behind this amazing work of art. It's one of my favorite films of 2008, and something that stays with you for a long time after you watch it. You will be amazed at the distinct art style and may be disturbed at the gore in the film, but after you watch it you will have the feeling of having just seen something completely different and game-changing.

5/5

Review-Saw 5

Director-David Hackl

Writers-Patrick Metlon and Marcus Dunstan

Starring- Costas Mandylor, Scott Patterson, Betsy Russell, Mark Rolston and Julie Benz

The 4th sequel to what must be trying to tie or beat A Nightmare on Elm Street and Friday the 13th series for most sequels to a single movie is suprisingly better than the last, with better traps, a better story and better acting overall. The story this time is that Det. Hoffman must tie up all loose ends to protect his secret. When the FBI gets in on the game and start to find out who he really is, the game seems to be up. But Jigsaw never made mistakes and as we will soon learn, the game is far from over. The film does have its problems, which are that the story sometimes gets too confusing and the flashback seem heavy handed at times. But this is a fun ride, and better than the last entry in the Saw series.

4/5

My Bloody Valentine Review (Not seen in 3D)

This is a remake of a 80's horror cult classic, updated with modern day horror effects and it's a throwback to what many call the greatest era in horror film history, with lots of blood, gore, sex, nudity, and general mayhem. That being said, this film is surprisingly well-acted, and well-directed. It provides the requiste chilling atmosphere and features some outrageous, over-the-top gore. It does have its problems though, with the story featuring many plot holes(but what film dosen't these days) but the twist differs from the orignal and is an unexpected one. The fact that this was meant for 3D and I only saw it in 2D holds this film back and I can only give it:

4/5

New year, New post

2009 has arrivied and let's hope we have a better year than 2008. Don't get me wrong, we had some great moments (Dark Knight being the 1 movie of the year, Jeff Hardy FINALLY winning the WWE Championship) but we had so many more lows. Now with a new president, let's hope we actually DO see some great change, and not a bunch of spoon-fed lies.


Top things I want in 2009
1. Jeff Hardy to retain his title for an entire year
2. A good leader of this country
3. Christian to win SOME kind of title in the WWE now that he's back with them.